This time of year can get a little crazy at the shops with purchasing gifts. I am not a fan of wandering around shopping centres, and there’s been a few years in the past where I was doing that on the 23rd and 24th December – oh yeah, just a tad crazy.
Plus, I much prefer to shop local and support small and ethical businesses.
So, I decided to share a few of my favourite places to shop with you! These all are online shops and local small businesses. Check out the discount codes and free shipping codes which I have gathered especially for us!
Happily Made – gorgeous handmade bags, shawls and other beautiful items made by women in Cambodia
Happily Made is a social enterprise set up by Veronica in Melbourne. I absolutely LOVE supporting this business, and whenever I purchase something it truly is a win/win – I love the feeling of supporting these amazingly talented women in Cambodia, so they can support their families. This is an ethical business focused on providing meaningful employment to marginalised women in Cambodia.
There are so many gorgeous and beautiful things in this shop!
I have one of the monk bags, and it’s my everyday bag and goes literally everywhere with me – there are many colours to choose from! I also have one of the pocket bags which is very handy when I need to take Yoga gear with me to external classes. I absolutely adore the rainbow shawl, and it’s my summer meditation shawl for my early morning meditation practice.
Veronica has kindly offered us FREE SHIPPING if you spend $70+ Use the code “Karen”
Soma Cacao – The real stuff (not powdered) and ethically sourced and by an Aussie business.
I know that coffee isn’t the best for me, so I went searching for something better. I found Soma Cacao! Ethically sourced, Vegan, Sugar-free, Gluten-free, free of any heavy-metals, and 100% natural…..Plus containing essential minerals, antioxidants, and mood-boosting compounds. What is not to love!!? Did I mention it tastes amazing?!!
I drink mine with a dash of honey, and I use Almond milk. You can use whatever type of milk you like.
There are smaller packs for you to try, as there are several different types which are sourced from different countries (including one from the Daintree here in Australia – which is now my favourite – although they are all delicious). You can choose 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 small packs to try them all if you can’t decide.
Use my discount code to get 10% off – “SOMA_KAREN_10”
Curation Planner by Saint Belford – plan and document your 2026 and get creative!
This is the planner I use and love! It’s not just about keeping track of important work and business things, but also a way to prioritize wellbeing and creative activites – like Yoga!
I use the original A5 weekly planner. There’s also an A4 size, and there’s also an A5 daily planner. Plus, there’s so many gorgeous colours to choose from. I’ve ordered myself the bright pink for 2026.
Some of what you will find inside the weekly planner: generous space in the weekly layout for your to-do list and schedule, a Self-care menu, pages for 2026 intentions, Mission statement, Habit curator/tracker, pre-week planner, space for gratitude reflections, a weekly drawing board which is a dot grid, 2026 Memory bank to capture special moments, 2026 Bucket list, and more. In the online shop you will also find stickers that are great to use in the planners, pen holders, planner covers, and a few other goodies.
Another reason I think this small Aussie business is awesome – they also support the charity Beyond Blue.
Flowerdale Valley: Skincare & Wellness – locally made in Flowerdale with natural ingredients
Flowerdale Valley is owned by Mel, who makes these beautiful products herself, and if you follow her on Instagram, you will get a giggle out of her videos also made by her! She’s awesome!
She offers a whole range of amazing Australian skincare, and beauty products that are natural and great for your mind, body, and soul.
I especially love the Bee Balm and the Chamomile Calendula & Shea face cream. There are also some beautiful face oils that I love, and the “take it all off” cleansing balm is so beautiful and gentle on my face.
When you sign up to her mail-list, you will get a 10% off discount. Each month she offers a “freebie” when you spend over $100.
For December the freebie is a full sized 50ml Rice Rose Luxe Serum with your order of $100 or more.
Yoga sessions with Karen (that’s me!) – One-on-One private sessions & small group sessions
Give the gift of Yoga!
The gift of Yoga for yourself or someone in your life that you know could do with some nurturing, calming, soothing Yoga and meditation in their life. Please note that I offer Yoga sessions for women only.
I offer private 1-on-1 sessions by Intro 4-pack (for brand new students), and for continuing private students by 5-pack and 10-pack. For the private 1-on-1 sessions, they can be weekly or fortnightly or however suits your schedule – it can be good to get in touch with me first to have a chat about what days/times suit you best and see what’s available and when.
For group sessions: I offer small group sessions by the term, both in-person in Lilydale, and online by zoom. The current timetable is on my website and you will find online bookings there too: www.karenbuckland.com
The new term will commence from February 2nd, for an 8 week term, and bookings have just opened.
I only make recommendations from businesses that I have tried and love. If you purchase from Soma Cacao or Saint Belford using my links, I may receive a small commission…thanks! I receive no commission from any of the other recommendations. They are all amazing places to shop!
In January 2018, Lizzie Lasater was traveling to Melbourne to present training on Restorative Yoga. I signed myself up within a heartbeat. We were gathering at Abbotsford convent and I traveled there early on the morning of the first day, and several other yoga teacher friends traveled with me, and with all the bolsters and blankets and props we were required to take, our car was packed to the brim. Luckily the walk from the car park into the building wasn’t far. As we wheeled our suitcases across the grounds of concrete and grass and trees, and then slowly up flights of stairs, we must have looked like we were moving in for the week. It was stinking hot summer weather and the studio had no air conditioner, but the windows were all wide open to let in a little breeze, and it was a gorgeous yoga studio that I had attended numerous times before for sessions with Anahata Giri and Aruna Giri (previously the One heart yoga studio).
I have quite a few stories from that first training I attended, and then the next Summer in December of the same year when Lizzie returned to Melbourne again for the second training; I will save those stories for another time, and just mention one moment.
I recall a moment of opening my eyes after being in a restorative yoga posture for over 20 minutes in the crowded warm room of about 30 other resting yoga practitioners. The room had no music, no noise, no movement. We were all resting, awake, supported, quiet and still. In those moments of that 20 plus minutes, each of us going within, to our inner thoughts and contemplations and selves; a collective silent sigh of resting bodies, brains, and hearts. It was a moment of clarity that remains like a photo in my mind.
When I completed those first few days learning and practicing and experiencing, restorative yoga became part of my life from then on. Restorative yoga is more than rest, it’s a cultivating of deep rest and turning within, while remaining awake.
“Embodied meditation” was how Lizzie described it, and that is what it is to me.
By the way, restorative yoga is excellent for your nervous system, to stimulate the relaxation response. AKA the parasympathetic nervous system state.
The poem I shared from Danna Faulds is one I have shared many times with my students, and now, just hearing the first few words in my mind…I am feeling the call to stop (what I’m doing), drop (onto the floor with some blankets and perhaps with legs elevated on a chair), and REST.
(Which I did prior to hitting publish on this post)
Restorative yoga is a practice of non-doing. How many things do we “do” that are actively “non-doing”?
During your day, could you possibly give yourself a moment to be still?
Several moments? I recommend at least 10 minutes and preferably 20.
And yes, that 20 minutes “just” for the one pose.
…instead of pushing, sweating, starving, striving, rushing, breaking, molding, and, shape-shifting, I advocate for “lying flat.” I argue that śavāsana, as the yogic practice of lying flat or quiet quitting, is a critical tactic of dismantling power structures, and of caring for oneself and community. So, friends, lay down. Bring the ethos of śavāsana into every pose. Or…allow the whole of practice to be śavāsana.
In case you need it: here’s your reminder to breathe and pause and rest.
Let go of all the “doing”. Let yourself be.
Karen
PS: Join me for group yoga sessions online (via zoom) or in-person (Lilydale, Melbourne)? Or join me for 1-on-1 private yoga sessions, which can also be online or in-person? Find more info at http://www.karenbuckland.com.au or send me an enquiry via my contact page.
You don’t need to change any part of you, or anything about yourself. You are whole, just as you are. Yoga and meditation practice are not about trying to change anything about you. Not anything. You are whole, you are complete. You are enough. This moment.
I have just returned home from a home away from home – silent meditation retreat.
I have attended a fair number of silent meditation retreats over about 14 years. The pandemic lockdown years were an exception to silent retreating. During that time, I joined a 5 day silent retreat which was held online – I was unsure about this at first, but it was really wonderful, and based on the MSC (mindful self compassion) teachings of Kristen Neff, and I loved it. I also took myself on a solo retreat once we were allowed to travel again, and that was a little bit prior to groups being allowed to gather in-person, and that was also wonderful and quite different.
My recent retreat was a 3 night/ 4 day retreat, held at Maitripa retreat centre, north of Healesville. A place where I can connect with my inner-self, come back to my home within myself.
The grounded-ness of being at a place that feels like home, and with a teacher who I know and respect and am continually inspired by, is something special.
On retreat, there are new people, some who may have meditated before, some maybe not, some who may have attended silent retreats before, and some maybe not, some who are good and happy with the silence and some maybe not.
There are new emotions, new thoughts, and there are the emotions and thoughts that keep coming back and coming back over weeks and months and decades. And, let’s face it, when you’re stuck in hard, challenging thoughts and emotions, it can feel kind like never-ending.
There are different pains and struggles and aches and worries, and there are those uncomfortable things that seem to return. Perhaps with a little different perspective. Perhaps a lot.
There are different situations happening in the world that are on our minds and in our hearts. And there are the questions such as “why do humans keep on inflicting suffering on each other?” that seem to continue on.
Tuning into nature, becomes therapeutic. Nature, which is a constant AND is continually changing.
While I ate my breakfast sitting on a couch in the living-room by the window, I heard the loud sound of birds chirping and chatting, and saw a flash of orange and green in the trees (camellia tree I think, a big massive one, with some buds just getting ready to bloom once summer weather cools) – and then I saw them up close! Just on the other side of the pane of glass. Several parrots with green seeds that they must have plucked from the tree, sitting in their beaks for them to munch on. They were eating brekky too, ha!
I was fascinated watching them, up close, as they hopped from branch to branch, exclaiming loudly, talking to each other in their bird language, looking joyful!
I wandered through the gardens remembering where the flowers would again be blooming soon, once the heat of summer eventually died down, and admiring the flowers who were currently blooming in small places in the cool of shade.
I met several spiders and gave them their space.
I rescued a cricket from the women’s bathroom and carried him safely out to the garden.
I felt my feet on the earth, stepping, over and over, telling me this moment, this moment, this moment. I am here.
After the first day I realized I hadn’t looked at social media AT ALL. Yay me!
Next thought was – oh, hold on, I will just check my facebook and Instagram briefly, “just in case”…but the internet-gods didn’t agree, and there wasn’t enough signal, so within a minute I gave it up anyway, and put my phone back on flight mode, and away into the drawer.
I fell into the rhythm.
I would shower around 6am. I would hear the wake up bell at 6.30am. Morning silent meditation at 7am in the meditation hall in our circle. Yoga asana guided by our teacher at 7.30am. Breakfast at 9am. I would check the helping-roster after breakfast to remember when I was on dishwasher/kitchen duty. Brush my teeth and wander the garden, slowly. Back into meditation circle at 11.30am; meditation, yoga nidra, walking meditation, seated meditation. Lunch at 1pm. Another space of wandering the garden, writing in my journal, sitting in the shade, or resting. Back into meditation circle at 3.30pm for an hour; seated meditation, walking meditation, seated meditation. A short break. Back into meditation circle at 5pm for an inquiry and journaling questions (here was where we could speak if we had a burning question). Dinner at 6pm. Last meditation circle of the day at 7.30pm for silent meditation, and then chanting/kirtan until around 9pm. Afterwards, I would gaze up into the sky, the stars, and then time for sleep.
I was sitting under a big wide tree, in the shade, as I wrote in my journal that last day. A spot where I had returned each time to do the walking meditation. Being very hot temperatures each day, around 38 degrees each day (who knew exactly as my weather app wasn’t updating on account of the lack of phone signal!), each of us had found a separate shady spot, as the usual courtyard place for walking meditation was in the full sun and too hot.
I had made friends with the tiny yellow daisies in the grass just there. One tiny yellow flower was different to the others. I noticed how shiny it was, just 5 petals, so delicate, and by itself.
The rhythm of meditation with others, walking by myself, eating delicious vegetarian meals with others in silence, writing in my journal alone. Alone and together, separate and with others. The rhythm of my breath, expanding, contracting. The cool mornings, the heat in the afternoons. Waiting for a little bit of breeze through the trees. Watching ants scuttle across the concrete and to find a cooler spot in the garden beds. Writing and listening, and writing and closing my eyes to feel in my body.
I wrote about the sky. About being-ness. About grief.
I found a balance that I haven’t felt before. This was a new way of feeling balance.
I was in awe of the people who I knew (thanks to the first dinner conversation, where we are allowed to talk and meet each other) were attending their very first silent retreat – they were truly awesome; showing up to each and every scheduled session and on time, the slowness of the way they moved, the respect they showed to their fellow silent humans. They were in rhythm too. They were each dealing with their own thoughts and emotions and aches and pains and challenges. In the silence and in the space.
Here’s a poem that was shared to me during the retreat; it’s by David Whyte.
Enough.
These few words are enough.
If not these words, this breath.
If not this breath, this sitting here.
This opening to the life we have refused again and again until now.
Until now.
A few snippets from my journal:
Well. That was beautiful. The simplicity of sitting meditation, walking meditation, and sitting meditation, 1, 2, 3. One of my billions of thoughts while sitting was “I can’t wait to grab a wet paper towel from the bathroom and clean my feet”, like I did last night before bed, because I did the walking meditation barefoot on the grass, and also because – self care. It feels nice to wash one’s feet. Next thought “women in Gaza don’t have the luxury of even washing their feet” and probably not even clean water to drink. Oh! In the middle of the last sitting meditation I saw the word “love” in front of me and then sent love outwards to all the people who need it right now. I keep thinking and praying – can’t people stop killing? Can’t they realise and just stop? I pray for them.
Everyone found a shady spot to do walking meditation. I went under the tree in between the red kitchen at the back and near the courtyard. I had to move some sticks into little piles. And there were a few bees going for their favourite flowers that I paused to watch (and not step too close to). I stood and watched one bee closely, the way he moved the tiny petals, one by one, then after a few moments went in search of the next flower – the white/yellow daisies were not to his liking. He only likes the little white puff flowers, they have tiny thin upwards petals.
Just BEING in the QUIET of the morning, in the circle. We finished at 7.30am with chanting the Gayatri mantra. Then a short break before Yoga, which we went outside for. We were standing in a circle on the grass (I kept my socks on and ended up with bits of prickly grass stuck in them, oh well, funny). The sun was not yet above the trees up on the ridge, but the sky already light, and I loved it so much. A group of green-orange parrots were nearby and went from the ground, to the trees, and then off somewhere else. Two kites flew way up overhead. Or at least I think they were kites as they were big with a giant wing-span. We did slow Surya Namaskar. And then back in the hall with the chants which I loved! The rhythm!
….there’s been a slowing down of everyone it seems. What a beautiful and dedicated and respectful and quiet group of humans. I feel lucky to be here. Even in this heat, which is actually not too bad for me. It helps me slow down even more.
Oh my goodness I’ve just loaded and unstacked the giant dishwasher 20 times or more and it was HOT in there! Seeing as x left (on the first day so not sure what happened) it was just me supposed to be on dishwasher duty, so I just made a start right after lunch, started at 1.30pm. Thank the heavens that M came in to help me, because otherwise I would still be in there, and sweating! She also filled the water things, wiped all the benches, and swept the floors. Angel. When I did dishwasher duty last night it was way faster and easier. Just extra dishes due to the type of meal. Lunch was awesome. It is HOT. I remember my first retreat here which was also very hot and that one was packed to the rafters; there was even a woman camping in her caravan in the carpark. I’m sitting outside on the seat I placed here again. Because I get a tiny breeze here, and I’m in the shade. It’s quiet. I just wanted to sit in quiet, just me. (before the next session at 3pm) “What is here, now?”
Man, what I would give for a strawberry freddo right now. Or a couple of those mini cherry ripes.
I was just thinking again – butterflies the size of birds and birds the size of butterflies, when a butterfly came and sat in front of me, on the grass! She paused, and turned a little, with wings out so I could see the intricate patterns, including the camouflage eyes on her wings. So very beautiful.
Did I mention how I stood by the garden bed by the old toolshed and watched a very tiny bird fly down from the branches of a tree, to the flowers (all those colourful ones close together) and then hover using the amazingness of her wings at lightspeed, to have her beak in the flowers? It was like something I’ve seen in gorgeous photos before….and now witnessed with my own two eyes, right in front of me, just that moment, by chance.
Obviously this is the best place on earth to do morning pages and write and write and write. There is so much aliveness and beauty and being-ness.
I’m no flower expert but I saw ANOTHER tiny yellow daisy-type flower in the grass over past the other meditation hall and slightly downhill as I walked towards the lone red-berry tree in the middle. The glossiness and shininess of the curved petals. And just 5 petals.
I wasn’t first in the bathroom today as there was someone in the shower I usually pick. The other one has even worse water pressure and even more fiddly (especially when half asleep at 6am) to not be burned by the water, or frozen. But it was nice. I am awake. I was out and wrapping my hair in my towel as I heard the wake-up bell.
Today is my last day! Exclamation. Because I’m both ready to go home and would like to stay at the same time. Opposites. Holding duality until it becomes non-duality (one). The constant rhythms that have developed. The early silent sitting. Then Gayatri mantra. Then yoga asana. Then brekky. Right down to the rhythm of what I take with me. My glasses and a drinkbottle. And if it’s walking meditation, my hat and sunnies. My shawl, the soft pink one that K gave me as a gift a few years ago. So soft.
About to go into the meditation hall for the 7am silent seated meditation…..
For anyone that is feeling or has felt invisible, uncared for, unimportant or unworthy…I see you.
In a conversation recently, I was chatting with a beautiful person how it sometimes feels like some people don’t care much for other people out there in the big wide world, sometimes within our own communities, and sometimes closer to home.
Acknowledging our feelings is important. All feelings are valid. It’s healthy to be able to share our feelings, to express them in writing, or artistically, or with our voice.
It doesn’t feel great to feel uncared for. Feeling unsupported or unworthy of someone’s care or attention can really hurt.
For some of us, it might be that we let the external world impact our sense of self-worth.
Those feelings could impact our mental health, and the way we then interact with others and the world.
Something my own yoga practice (including meditation/stillness/contemplation/journaling/walking solo in nature) is slowly helping me to realise is that I can find a deep caring connection within myself, and that befriending myself is actually a much more important thing, rather than looking outside for it.
I’m not offering any “hacks” or quick fixes. I’m definitely not an expert, I’m just a human contemplating stuff through my own experiences. It might not be a popular blog post for me to write that I believe that things often happen slowly, over time, and with regular practice, commitment, self-care. Little steps, small practices, with an attitude of kindness towards yourself for your wellbeing.
There is something quite soothing to my soul that EVEN IF I don’t feel supported, or even if I don’t feel a connection within myself, or even if I wake up feeling anxious over “xyz” or even anxious about nothing much at all (yep that happens)…. I have had glimmers of that feeling, and there’s something deep within me that KNOWS when I’m rolling around on my yoga mat, or seated on my meditation cushion, or lying in shavasana, that I KNOW that deep down I am okay.
Feeling cared for and supported by others, whether that be partners, friends, family, people in the wider community, doctors, care-givers, of course can be a wonderful feeling. However, are we only seeking those ‘wonderful feelings’ from other people?
Can we consider that we have our own internal source of wonderful-ness?
I believe that we do.
A while ago, I was contemplating these same thoughts, and shared this on my Instagram….
For anyone that is feeling or has felt invisible, uncared for, unimportant or unworthy…I see you.
I read these words by Daniell Koepke, shared by Clare Deale, and I was literally stopped in my tracks. I took a screenshot, read again, and shortly after shared with a friend who I was walking with as we paused on our walk, overlooking the river.
You might like to hear these words too…read them out aloud to yourself perhaps?
“It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your own worth. But the truth is that the way people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring–they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are–that despite the darkened you feel, you have the ability to share you love and light with others–is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgement or affection, you are enough.”
~ Daniell Koepke
I have read and re-read these words many times since I first found them, and they give me solace. Firstly, I remember that I am not alone in these feelings and that other people feel what I feel. And most of all, that reminder that I am enough, and I am okay, without needing any approval or anything else. I am enough. I am that I am.
May we keep showing up and see and care for each other. And may we keep showing up and see and care for ourselves.
♥️ Karen
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I offer trauma-informed Yoga sessions for women. Join us on zoom from wherever you are in the world, or in Lilydale, Melbourne’s outer-east. My timezone is Melbourne AEDT. I also offer 1:1 private sessions which can be via zoom, or in-person. New offering – TCTSY, Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga.
More and more I am embracing the messiness that occurs in my yoga and in my everyday life, but it wasn’t always this way.
When I did my first YTT (Yoga teacher training) I didn’t like being messy at all. I was pretty much a perfectionist in life, which caused me anxiety and stress and pain.
In YTT it was very much about having “aligned” poses, in which I wanted to be “perfect”. I now have Sacro-iliac-joint (SIJ) disfunction which I believe is from those years of squaring my hips for warriors, trikonasana etc….by the way people, please don’t try to “square” your hips and please don’t listen if a teacher expects you to.
In YTT, sometimes we had opportunities for alternatives, if we couldn’t get the “full expression of the pose”. I often felt very awkward in asking if I could do an alternative. Why I felt I needed to get the permission of my teacher is something I now wonder about. I had a faulty belief that I wasn’t good enough if I couldn’t do it.
I often felt pressure to continue the class even if I wasn’t feeling well. I even attended a class straight after being in a minor car accident! Even though I was shaky, and probably should have turned around and driven myself back home, I showed up because I didn’t want to disappoint my teacher. Did I pause to think about my own emotional state? I don’t think so, sadly.
My YTT was structured, following the teacher’s instructions. I admired her matter-of-fact way of delivering instructions. I was eager to please and tick the boxes. But instructions and expectations are friends with perfectionism. I remember one of my fellow students running from the room in tears as she was feeling pressured to do a strong inversion and didn’t want to. It was either handstand or headstand.
At the time, I thought the structure was good for me. It was kind of what I was used to, and I felt it was helpful for me, and I thought helpful to manage anxiety at the time. It gave me a sense of containment; it gave me boundaries.
With the benefit of hindsight, I needed space to find my own way to practice; I needed less instructions and less expectations. However, my own yoga did evolve slowly and consistently through my home practice, and my own curiosity, more trainings with other teachers and facilitators, discussions with peers, etc.
I grew to love my home practice, as a dear friend and companion, always there with me wherever I travelled and whatever was happening in my personal life.
Now, more and more, my own practice looks waaaaay less like trying to get the “look” of a certain posture, and more like rolling around on the floor.
YEP!
It’s definitely NOT fancy.
When I share photos on Instagram, I am aiming to offer alternatives to the various yoga-pretzel fancy-looking, on the beach in a bikini type of yoga.
Not that yoga on the beach, or in a bikini, or fancy pretzel looking yoga is a bad thing. Of course not. I want people to know they get to choose. It’s not good or bad, it’s just different. There are choices.
I want the world to know that yoga is accessible to everyone. And there are so many ways to practice yoga….what I believe matters the most is how it feels to you, on the inside.
By tuning in more to how yoga feels to you, will help to cultivate INTEROCEPTION. That is the inner-awareness of your body. Your felt sense. This is something especially helpful for trauma-survivors, and those experiencing mental health challenges.
I love offering Interoceptive cues in my sessions. And it’s something that I work with in my own yoga practice, which allows me to get curious and experiment with different movements and postures and how my body balances (or doesn’t!)
I love the experimenting. And allowing myself to be messy.
I often say to participants in my yoga sessions, yoga is less about how it looks, and more about how it feels. I also to participants many choices and options, and invitational cues. It is afterall their body, their experience, their yoga.
Allowing myself to be messy, and curious, with my yoga practice helps me to embrace the imperfect things about my life.
It’s always a work in progress, embracing myself as I am. It has taken me a long time, little by little, to release the desire and intention to be perfect. But PHEW, what a relief it is.
How about the effect on mental health? I believe there are strong benefits. I have EXPERIENCED the positive mental health affects for myself.
Imperfect is good. Enough-ness is also really good!
Self-acceptance is brilliant! And when we can accept ourselves as we are, we can accept others as THEY are.
I say let’s celebrate being our imperfect selves, exactly as we are. We are whole and complete, exactly as we are.
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Interested in Yoga sessions with me? I offer small friendly trauma-informed group Yoga sessions. Join us on zoom from wherever you are in the world. Several yoga sessions including Yoga Nidra, on zoom each week. My timezone is Melbourne AEST. I also offer 1:1 private sessions which can be via zoom. New offering – TCTSY, Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga.
I have re-booted my personal meditation practice lately. My yoga/mindful-movement has been a daily thing for me for ages, but when it comes to sitting in stillness and quiet, well, that has been a different and more challenging thing for me, over many years. I have been to numerous silent meditation retreats, and recently took myself on a solo retreat, and each time I gain new inspiration that truly lights up my love for meditation.
I could also interchange the phrase “sitting in quiet with myself, embracing myself in the moment as I am” with the word meditation. I could also say – gain new inspiration to befriend myself.
I have been working with the Selfhealers circle (with Nicole LePera, author of “How to do the work” and Jenna Weakland) and I decided to try making myself a “Small daily promise” to myself of 10 minutes first thing each morning of quiet meditation time. What a much nicer invitation to myself to call it a “small daily promise”! Nicole has spoken about how important it is to make it small and do-able, but also daily for the consistency.
If you have her book, check out the first chapter where she writes about her client Ally who was at a very low point and suffering from MS, when she resolved to make one small daily promise to support her health – drinking one glass of water every morning. From that small daily promise, Ally eventually went on to add in journaling, meditation, yoga, a nutrition programme….and now Ally’s MS is in remission. Nicole writes “Ally’s story shows us the power of choice. She learned that even when faced with a grim diagnosis, she had within her the power to make beneficial changes.”
From little things, big things grow!
I was scrolling through really old emails today and was about to hit the delete on this one which was a reply to a yoga student’s question about her trying to start her own meditation practice. Even though I wrote it about 8 years ago, I think it still sums up how I feel about it today….
“Don’t worry about feeling like you have your learners on with meditation! Even experienced meditators feel like that sometimes. I don’t classify myself as experienced either! Will I ever?….not sure….but I like thinking of myself as always learning. One of my teachers described to me how she went through a dark patch for a long time where meditation was a struggle every time, but she just kept persisting. Just like life, everybody has ups and downs with meditation, and the secret (not so secret) is two things – PRACTICE and NON-ATTACHMENT. These are the two guides from the “Yoga Sutras”. Practice – In other words, it’s the consistency of practice, keep going, and continue to keep going, know that the consistency of practice is like building muscles from working-out in the gym…..and non-attachment means to not focus on judging things as either ‘good’ nor ‘bad’, but just know that either way everything has something we can learn. Remember in class how I often say you may wish to ‘observe’ your breath, or to ‘observe’ how you are feeling, but without judgement?…
“Non-attachment is NOT the same thing as detachment. If you think about doing a yoga posture and you feel an intense stretch in your leg or your hip, you are not trying to ignore the sensation or push it away (that would be detachment). Instead, you observe the sensation and accept that as part of your experience in that moment. And there is no need to judge it. Same with meditation – you may have a wonderful experience of sitting in meditation (ie. you judge it as ‘good’) and the next time you sit, you hope that the experience repeats; however, that would be attachment to the experience….so instead to practice non-attachment you accept that every single experience of meditation will be different, and you embrace each experience as unique and don’t judge.”
One thing I have also found really interesting for quite a while is that some people who practice Yoga don’t really meditate much at all, maybe never. Others who practice Yoga meditate a lot. And then there are people all in-between the “never” and the “consistently”. I used to feel a bit judg-ey about those people who practiced yoga but didn’t meditate. Well, I have let go of that judgement now: actually it’s an individual personal choice. And also, to me, meditation and yoga are the same thing but different ways of moving/not-moving, different ways of stillness/non-stillness.
It’s not what you call it that matters…. A rose by any other name will smell as sweet.
Keeping my small daily promise to myself makes a difference. This small kindness to myself first thing, then I have noticed the other “stuff” that happens after that, whether easy or challenging or however, is more like bouncing on a trampoline rather than getting bogged in mud.
It’s also faaaaaaarrrrrrr from perfect. The more I let myself (and my meditation time) be imperfect, the more I can accept myself as I am…and accept my meditation practice as it is.
Here’s some books that might interest you:
Meditation Secrets for women – Camille Maurine & Lorin Roche
Meditation for the Love of it – Sally Kempton
How to do the Work – Dr Nicole lePera
And a Podcast with Nicole and Jenna called the Selfhealers Soundboard
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Interested in small group Yoga sessions with me? We have just started term 1. Join us on zoom from wherever you are in the world. Five Yoga sessions, including Yoga Nidra, on zoom each week. Three morning sessions and two evening sessions. My timezone is Melbourne AEDT.
I have tried to write a few times over the past few months, and still I can never seem to be content with my description of what has gone on lately! How about you? I’m thinking possibly because I am still processing my own experience, it cannot yet be put into words, especially of the lockdown here in Melbourne from July-ish to October (or was it November? We lost track of the days a bit!) 2020. Or maybe I can never find a true story, and that will be okay. And considering that the popular comment of “we are all in this together” and how sometimes that felt not right to me. Everyone had different challenges, different experiences, different perspectives, different opportunities. But yes, we are all having this experience of “life” together, just as we always have been on planet earth.
So, I am going to kind of jump over my personal stories of lockdown, of zooming, online-schooling for my kids, and multiple daily walks of deepening my connection with nature and staying grounded.
I’m going to talk about self-care….whoa, didn’t self-care start flashing like a neon sign!
What I am in right now I could describe as an after effect of lockdown, and also living on an earth where the pandemic isn’t over.
Here in Melbourne right now we are lucky to be having so many different freedoms. When things started feeling kind of “almost normal” many were out celebrating and (in the words of the Victorian state premier, because you know we have to laugh too) getting on the beers, or perhaps more out getting in the cafes for a great cup of coffee or 3. There were also some weird feelings happening for me. And I suspect others. Seeing people in other places in the world suffering, hearing of people struggling to be able to return home to Australia, hearing of hospitals in other countries overloaded to breaking point and death tolls rising. These are people. Someone’s wife, someone’s mother, someone’s son, someone’s friend.
My nervous system (and I am thinking many other humans on this planet, as mentioned before for different experiences, different challenges) is not at it’s most ever chilled out place.
When thinking about the world, humans on this earth suffering, the practices of self-care can seem kind of selfish sometimes. But I believe it is necessary to be able to fill one’s own cup, because how else can we help others?
I believe that it is not selfish to care for oneself, keeping in mind that we are all connected, and we all have the ability to be of service to other beings on this earth.
I was already serious about self-care and have been infatuated with Yoga for a long time. I became more serious.
Like an itch one cannot scratch, I realised at some point that even with alllll my self-care practices, something was missing – Self-care, I’m talking daily walks in nature, yoga by myself, yoga online, Feldenkrais online, meditation in the morning with chanting, Epsom salt baths, reading awesome books, reading blogs, listening to inspiring podcasts, journaling, green juices, hot lemon drinks, seeing my massage therapist, seeing my reiki therapist, self-massage, gazing at the sky at sunset, self-hugs, self-reiki, creating art with drawing and collage, and the list goes on ….even with all this, there is still an important ingredient that needs to be included and to be set as an intention.
One afternoon it finally dawned on me the self-care was like placing small band-aids over a gaping wound, without this ingredient.
Suddenly I found myself searching for a book I had read years before. (By the way, I still haven’t found the book! I think it had been a library book.)
Then, in synchronicity, an email dropped into my inbox from that very same author. Kristen Neff, author of “Self Compassion”.
After following a link to her website and courses available, I remembered searching for a local ‘mindful self-compassion’ course in Melbourne years ago – I think there was one teacher in Melbourne offering it and I couldn’t make it to the class times, so I put it on the backburner thinking it wasn’t meant to be.
Fast forward to these special times where the zoom gods allowed courses to be happening from wherever in the world and right into your lounge room with the click of a mouse. A few of the courses I looked at, were scheduled for around 2am or 3am Melbourne time…..not do-able in my household, or with my level of exhaustion.
But a few more clicks on my laptop and I found a course at a time suitable for us Aussies! And with two teachers that are really inspiring, one zooming from Thailand and one from US. Their names are Siri and Jennifer.
So, I am right in the middle of this course in Mindful Self Compassion right now and loving it. Plus I have to admit, that as a teacher, it’s always an extra pleasure to be a student in a class! In the sessions we learn and practice different practices of mindful self-compassion in a group of likeminded souls, none of who I have met besides from on zoom, sharing our experiences, sharing our thoughts, our values, and learning how to really embody self – compassion in a meaningful way.
Everything is a work in progress. And I feel like in many ways I am circling or spiralling around in the ways that I learn about myself and my life. I bring the intention of self-compassion into my life now. I will see how thing go from there, and accept myself and forgive myself when I am not perfect. I am willing to embrace my imperfect self.
Here is something you can do right now and you only need a moment:
Place your hand on your heart, close your eyes, listen to your breath, feel the beat of your heart…you are here now…you can give yourself that gift of self-compassion. Be kind towards yourself. Be accepting. Be loving. Be forgiving. Give yourself that gift. You can choose that right now, this moment. Great compassion.
Wishing you peace, love and joy, and lots of self-compassion
If there is something valuable the time during lockdown reminded me, it is the value of being SLOW
Here in Melbourne, after several months, the lockdown has finished. It kind of feels a bit funny writing that. For a few reasons. I know there are all sorts of challenges going on in different parts of the world, we might be all “in this together”, but also we all have different circumstances, so I just want to say… my heart is also with you, and I send you strength and courage.
By the way, we still have some restrictions in Melbourne and Victoria, such as mask wearing and limits on the number of people in groups.
I don’t know about you, fellow Melbournians, but I was extra gentle with myself emerging from lockdown. I have continued with the things that I found beneficial during that time, however these things now take extra commitment to “make the time for oneself”….my personal Yoga and meditation practice and study, walking where I live (Lilydale and the Yarra Valley), spending time in nature, reading books, writing (I’m especially finding benefit over the past many months with stream of consciousness writing!), and embracing “slowness”.
A fellow Yoga teacher friend of mine, Claudia, wrote how when she was out walking by a place near her home, she burst into tears. She wrote: “in the depths of lockdown that was where I took my kids for their daily outing…I felt sad for them and for how small our lives were”
I have had similar feelings. Especially on behalf of my children.
I wrote about how I had befriended a flower, just near my place, I would greet it each day, I looked forward to the chance to see it, admire it, and yeah maybe it sounds a little crazy. (If you follow my instagram you may recall, I shared a photo of the flower) Life felt very small… and close… and quiet.
I remember contemplating what life must have been like for my ancestors, who didn’t have many options to travel (pre-planes and pre-cars), and the wonderful art of old-fashioned snail-mail letter writing may have been the only option to stay in touch with family or friends. No phone, no email, no internet.
I still walk that way often, where I befriended the flower, but the flower is no longer blooming…it was beautiful, I felt connected to the land right there, in a way I haven’t before. As Claudia wrote, it felt small. Almost inconsequential, and yet it was important to me. A sense of okayness. A nearby friend who was there.
For those of you who have watched the movie “Castaway” with Tom Hanks (yep re-watched it during lockdown and my kids watched it for the first time) you will remember “Wilson” beloved basketball friend. Not that I was stranded on an island eating coconuts to survive, but you get the feeling.
I think honoring our feelings is a gift we give to ourselves
And that is being self-nurturing
A little while ago, I received a beautiful book from a lovely Yoga student of mine, Kerry, and I love this book SO MUCH, it’s called “The four principles of Self-Nurture”. Here are some words from it that I would love to share…
“The need for gentleness with ourselves is a lifetime commitment. Start today. Notice how fast you are going, breathe and slow down.”
“We find the courage to face the difficult things in life, not by pushing ourselves hard, but by being very gentle and nurturing ourselves.”
When I am guiding my students in class, I encourage them to listen within. It is from within that we can honor our feelings. It is from within that we have the opportunity to really find the true strength and balance and equanimity….. and that is never about pushing or forcing ourselves. Usually the word “should” is a big give away as a time to question really how one is treating one-self, and to then perhaps re-assess.
My own practice of meditation, yoga, and reiki continues to teach me every day, and I truly believe in the power of SLOWNESS and NURTURING myself.
So for those of you reading this who are like me, in Melbourne, now feeling a bit “out there” with allll the options of shopping, cafes, and friend/family gatherings, remember it is okay to stay within your own little cocoon any time you want to.
If you want to.
Listening to yourself. Enjoying slowness. Honoring your feelings.
This photo is at Badger Creek Weir. It was just after we were allowed out of the 5km bubble, but we were within a 25km bubble. I remember the joy of walking through the trees beside the river, it felt like a leafy green world of magic.
As part of my Yoga teacher training it was a requirement not only to have a dedicated self-practice, but to write about it in a journal. I have always loved to write! Little did my teacher know how much I would write; I filled 5 spiral notebooks which I still have and occasionally re-read. The journal writing was so helpful, because I was reflecting and learning from myself.
Many of the things I wrote were questions. Not questions to my teacher, but just questions that I was asking myself. Sometimes my teacher would add notes and observations of her own, and often to the questions she would add another question to encourage me to open my way of thinking or observing.
Svyadaya, is the 4th of the 5 Niyamas (Moral Observances) of Yoga, as recorded in the Yoga Sutras. It means self-study and self-enquiry.
Although I did have a home practice before I began my teacher training, the requirement of the journal definitely opened up my practice to embrace the self-study and self-enquiry.
Things I would record and write about included what type of practice, such as types of asana or pranayama or meditation. I would write the Sanskrit names I knew, or I would refer to my text books and learn the ones I didn’t know. I would record different variations of postures that I tried. I recorded physical reactions to postures and pranayama and bandhas and mudras. I wrote about my time in meditation, good or bad or otherwise. I wrote about other reactions to my practices, mentally, emotionally.
The more I wrote, the more I was looking for and observing subtle things in my practice. I wrote about thoughts of resistance and wanting to finish, and instead staying in a posture for an extra 10 breaths, just to notice the effect. I wrote about finding the balance between effort and ease. I wrote about challenging myself and how my body and mind responded. I wrote about how my practice and being a mother to my children worked….my son was 3 years old at the time, and my daughter was 5.
I started to observe my yoga practice in my everyday life. When I wasn’t practicing yoga, or writing about it, or attending classes with my teacher, there were still things I noticed when I was out in the world, or when I was cooking meals or cleaning at home, or the little (but still big!) challenging things of caring for young children.
There were many required texts for our course, including the Yoga Sutras and Bhagavad Gita, however my yoga-reading went to absolutely everything I could find. It was during my studies that I first read “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Parahamsa Yogananda…incredibly and powerfully inspiring.
It was also at this time that I read “Buddhism for Mothers” by Sarah Napthali….a book I often recommend to mothers of young children and it’s such a beautiful book.
I had embarked upon Yoga Teacher Training totally unsure whether I would even actually become a teacher.
Rewind to my Uni days. I attended my first ever Yoga class at age 19 and loved it instantly. My first teacher, Cate, was trained in Gita Yoga and wore a black bodysuit, and she was very flexible, but also very gentle. She taught classes at the Melbourne Uni college where I lived for 3 years; International House. I only signed up for classes because my friends talked me into it, haha! But I found it was the perfect antidote to the stress of study and exams.
I kept returning to Yoga classes in my 20’s because I wanted to feel less stressed and more relaxed. I didn’t know why yoga made me feel better, but as I started working as an Accountant in a second-tier firm in the city, I considered that Yoga was THE thing that helped me to deal with (what I perceived as) my stressful job.
The problem was that when things became really busy with work, then I didn’t have time to make it to classes. I would try a little meditation every now and again, but I couldn’t seem to make it stick, because I felt I just wasn’t doing it ‘right’. I thought ‘if only’ I could attend classes again then I would be okay. In other words, I thought that the yoga couldn’t happen without the guidance of my teacher.
It was after the birth of my children that I experienced a big shift in my perspective. Nothing in particular, and everything at the same time. Bringing children into the world, I was filled with awe…looking at their amazing little selves and watching them learn and grow made me feel amazed at life. At the same time, I struggled! I could write a ton about this, but I will sum it up briefly here to say this: My anxiety spiralled out of control and was fuelled by sleep deprivation. At one point I was fearful of leaving my house, and I became withdrawn from friends and family in my desperate state (that I wanted no-one to witness).
To help me with this, I knew I needed more mindfulness in my life. I started practicing Yoga at home, usually first thing in the morning, because the mornings were the hardest. I used a library book to guide me to practice some basic postures and sequences. I told my yoga teacher, Ali, and she encouraged me and suggested other books, including BKS Iyengar’s “Light on Yoga”. She told me of her experience of meditation, and I realised she was human the same as me. Light-bulb moment! One day she announced she was leaving. As we said our goodbyes she asked if I was going to study to be a teacher. I knew then that I would! It seemed like such a scary commitment. She smiled at me and said the heartfelt words to me “I’m so glad”.
I have been a teacher since 2011, and Yes – I still attend classes and retreats. And absolutely love doing so. I am always open to learning something new, or a new perspective, or having my own perspectives shifted or opened. Or simply giving myself the gift of rest. For me, it is always a wonderful feeling by practicing Yoga in a class with others.
But also in a class, I am practicing my own Yoga, from the inside. This is not something that happens easily or instantly. It is something that I have cultivated through my own practice and developing the art of tuning in to myself. I talk often about “Inner Body Awareness” and I am inspired by Eckhart Tolle’s teachings.
Even when a teacher is guiding me, ultimately I am making my own decisions for my body and mind on a moment to moment basis.
This is something I also encourage my students to do.
Yoga is about practice and experience. We can learn from teachers. But most of all, we learn from ourselves; our inner-teacher.
Karen
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Join me for Yoga, TCTSY (trauma center trauma sensitive yoga), meditation, restorative yoga, yoga nidra, or reiki.
I offer private 1:1 sessions, and small group sessions, livestream on zoom, and also in Lilydale, Victoria. Visit http://www.karenbuckland.com.au for more info about my current offerings.
Are you able to treat yourself with extra TLC when you need it?
Are you able embrace extra slowness?
It is sometimes a challenge isn’t it!?
Busy-ness is all around us, and we sometimes feel we must be DOING MORE, somehow fitting more in, achieving more, somehow trying to be more…
Recently I noticed something interesting about slowness.
I teach one class each week at a women’s gym. I noticed a new student, and I was slightly concerned she seemed to be not understanding my guidance to be slow and to follow her breath. When it came time for Shavasana it was apparent that, for her, there was no time or space to allow stillness. While the other 20 or so students were relaxing in shavasana, she decided to continue with various movements, leg stretches and twists, alternating side to side. There was no stillness.
I had to struggle against my judgement that she wasn’t allowing ‘Shavasana’ to happen and simply let her be.
I released my judgement.
I was quiet. I held the space for all present.
After class I simply asked how she was feeling. I was open to accepting whatever she had to say.
She told me thought the class wasn’t hard enough.
The thing that she hasn’t realised is that the class WAS and IS hard enough for her. It was hard for her to be able to allow herself to be slow and to be still. She resisted against the stillness…. so that there was a big ZERO stillness for her.
Perhaps it was physically uncomfortable for her to be still…OR perhaps it was a decision she made mentally that it was a waste of her time and/or “too easy”.
I admit, I was once just like this student.
I had no interest in shavasana. I have been there and I have thought to myself “this class isn’t hard enough”…so hearing my student was like hearing my prior self from over a decade ago.
I honour this student, and I hope she returns to class, again and again and again, because through practice she may just discover what are her challenges.
It really is a massive challenge for some of us to ALLOW slowness and stillness.
How many times do you tell yourself you don’t ‘have time’ to rest? Or to relax? Or you don’t have time for yoga or meditation?
How many times do you criticize yourself when “things” aren’t getting done?
How many times do you use the word “should”?
(I should be doing this, I should be doing that, etc…)
Let go of all that.
Let me tell you – slowness and stillness are SO vital in your life.
For your physical wellbeing, your mental wellbeing, and your emotional wellbeing.
For those of you who attend my classes, or practice Yoga, I thank you and bow to you, when you allow slowness and stillness.
Because each and every time you do, you invite more PEACE into this world.
Yoga with Karen - Lilydale, Victoria 